Are You Suffering From The 'RobSten' Drought?

This post comes with a very strong warning. If you at all feel threatened by large doses of sarcasm, witty back handed comments. Delirious ranting and raving in foul language. If you have any kind of medical problems to do with increase of heart rate, due to loud noises and raised voices of uncontrollable yelling and shouting. Using all forms of the English language and some words that have not yet got into the universal dictionary of 'I don't give a shit if this is a word or not'
Or will suffer hearing loss due to maniacal laughing that will take place during the reading of this post, or indeed shown through symbols used to indicate i am LAUGHING MY ASS OFF AT THE STUPIDITY I AM WRITING ABOUT.

Finally, if you are at all one of those people who will find what i am about to talk about insulting, believing i am finger pointing and sniggering behind my hand. Circling your name with a black sharpie pen and marking a big RED x against it - hexing you into your next life with my snarky, evil 'it's not fair she is picking on me' glint in my eye....then please stop watching, stop reading for the good of your own health and remain in that nice little dark cell you call your mind.

I have read my fair share of bat-shit, completely crazy and lunatic suggestions; from people that are let out into the world unrestrained, not even an electric cattle prod to keep them in line? Those that believe what they are saying is completely true (swear to god and all his cupcakes) That what they say has any relevance on the state of the relationship between - yes you guessed it Rob and Kristen. Ah but to have a relationship they need to be in one and to suggest Rob and Kristen are or have broken up, again those little gossiping shrews will have had to accept there was one there to begin with...

Mm like a dog chasing it's tail - the hapless mutt doesn't know why it's doing it other than IT HAS TO!!

I am so fucking sick and tired of people posting on message boards, twitter, facebook, in fact any kind of bloody social network - with the same useless, sapless excuse ringing out;

'Rob and Kristen have not been seen together for a month - something is definitely wrong?'
'Rob has been rumoured to be out and about, living it up in LA, happily out from under Kristen fucking Stewart's shadow!
'I heard a rumour Rob has been partying every night of the week, yeah he's not pining for his girlfriend at all, he has all the women he needs to cure his frustrations if ya know what i mean?'

The hateful shrews as i like to call them, have been diligently working hard to make sure their crazy assed theories are being listened to. No more so that the 'Awful Truth' board - Ted 'the diva' Casablanca really knows how to throw a bitching party in that dense recess he calls the 'Awful Truth' at E! I suppose an entertainment site needs some kind of 'pity excuse' for those that like nothing more than standing over a proverbial garden fence and bitching about almost everything. Everyone loves a gossip, there's no denying it. But there are some people that take it one step too far. Some believe it's their god given right to speak their mind; whether it be full of hatred or not - it's their choice. Fair enough, now offer me the same hospitality as i speak mine.

Everyone is missing them...

Everyone is missing Rob and Kristen - except Rob and Kristen  - WTF?

Yep, pretty much the completely fucked up version of the truth. No one has seen Rob (physically that is) since August 9th when he stepped out to get groceries with his close friend Sam. Tweets of sightings, facebook mentions as people post up they have seen him here there and everywhere. From recording studios to Soho parties, Rob has been one popular guy. Borrowing a comment from someone recently i chatted to; 'We should put bells on Rob, that way everyone will know where he is at any given time' Though all the sightings seem plausible - there has not been any 'concrete evidence' to suggest he has been in all those places....just hearsay and speculation. Last week it was even tweeted he had purchased a guitar at 'Norms Guitars' now this one i can semi believe in. After all, Rob has purchased guitars from this well known guitar shop in Hollywood in the past, even had his photo taken with both his prized possession and the owner himself. The photo has then been released after the event, making sure Rob is as far away from the shop as possible. So as much as i can say 'this one seems real' i will reserve my judgement...for now...

Kristen has been equally evasive at showing her gorgeous little face. Locked deep in shooting SWATH; of course she is mega busy right now and in Rob's homeland (the clue is right there) she hasn't been seen since her arrival at Heathrow at the beginning of August, with only a handful of sightings (mostly on set) and of course at the beginning of this week at the 'Notting Hill Carnival' mingling with people in at the Diesel event with Ray Winstone's daughter who just so happens to be an actress herself (Ray is playing one of the dwarves in SWATH) A grainy photo of the back of a girl with long dark hair, white top/black bra and skinny jeans - seems to be Kristen's MO when it comes to clothing, so again, it is plausible that this was Kristen and she was in fact at the event - found in the kitchen of the party - which sounds exactly like Kristen as she is no 'party girl'
Which leads me nicely into the whole 'Rob has been partying it up while Kristen is away.' Really?

LMFAO!

The image i have in my head right now is incredibly funny - Rob at a party, dancing, getting drunk, falling over...but i am meant to believe that he has been living it large while is girlfriend is in another country, boozing heavily and screwing anything within reach and has a pulse? Rob and Partying in the same sentence, is like mixing Pickles with Custard - neither the two should ever meet. Why am i so confident in my assessment? Well all you have to do is listen to the guy in his interviews - a party goer he is not. Preferring a quiet drink with friends in an obscure pub in the back of nowhere, is where you will most likely find Rob Pattinson. Not in some Paris and Nikki Hilton Hot Spot where all the fame hungry go. I find it strange some women insist he is this kind of person, are they hoping he is suddenly going to materialise in their neck of the woods and be all 'egotistical' flashing his cash and everything else just for attention? Ah if that were so...why has he decided to be all covert and disappear?

All well thought out plans work when both are on the same side. I have no doubt in my mind that the 'disappearance of Rob and Kristen' is down to the fact that 'they like it that way' After all, wasn't it Reese Witherspoon who suggested Rob looks at his private life very much like a 'military operation' always thinking ahead of how not to be seen? They are both masters at making sure when they don't want to be seen...you won't see them. Why can some people not understand and accept this - they are not fakes in Hollywood and don't need the media attention to make them feel good about themselves. In the three years that Rob and Kristen have been together through Twilight, they have proven without a shadow of a doubt what kind of people they are - conservative, private, respectful and secretive about their relationship.

I've got you babe...

They have also proven how deeply private they are at keeping their 'private lives' out of the media and away from places that will have them targeted with every other fame hungry celebrity, IF by this stage now there are people out there still assuming that when the other one is away, the one left behind parties and has dinners with anything available - then clearly they are as delusional as the hateful shrews who make all this shit up just to annoy everyone. Oh sure, Rob most likely does go out and have dinner - has a few drinks with friends. But anything else...to quote a comment from the legend that was the lovely and respectful Paul Newman;  
'Why have Hamburger when you have Steak at home?'

Make assumptions all you want, worry unnecessarily about a relationship that is not your own, make up shit just to get attention, it's your party. But don't try and tell people you know jack shit, when you don't. That's my advice to anyone out there who actually believes a shred of evidence from the AT board. There are no 'real insiders' in there anymore, they left about 2 years ago. Right after Rob and Kristen started coming out together - because as far as the 'real insiders' understood, their work was done. They had led the campaign in getting the 'truth out there' and once the truth began to surface, they decided they were no longer needed. I am sure they pop in now and again see the shit that is being posted and then high-tail it back out again, because it's really not worth the aggro they would get, by commenting and disagreeing with all the crap that is posted.

Summer is always a time when discontented people will decide to stir up drama, because their lives are pretty boring or their kids are driving them up the bloody wall. We have seen this before and we will see this time and time again.

She is my lady...right there...

IF you believe that Rob and Kristen break all communication while they are apart, then more fool you because you are living in delusional world.
IF you believe Rob and Kristen have not seen each other the entire time they have been apart/Kristen in the UK and Rob in the US, then my friends you live very shallow lives.

If you think an ocean is going to stop them sneaking in and out to see one and other, while avoiding being papped - think again. I have no doubt in my mind they have seen each other at some stage; it's not a case of any kind of insider knowledge or second sight - this is just how these two roll with the punches. Am i no better than the people who have posted 'so called sightings and tweets of Rob?' Probably not, but at least I am not spouting about Rob partying and living it large, while the mouse is away the cat will most definitely play! It's called intuition, it's called having a solid foundation for a relationship and build upon it. Seems there are so many out there that believe theirs is a flaky relationship, unstable and insecure and therefore doomed to fail. Well...you keep telling yourselves that, let me know how you get on in Loserville!


Rob and Kristen will only be seen when they want to be seen. That means they will only 'court' the paps if they want to get a clear message across of their whereabouts. Arriving or exiting airports, is just to appease the press and it stops the media chomping at the bit. But if they don't want to be seen, of their choosing - they won't. The sightings and false hook ups do not hold in anything, because there is no evidence to suggest anything has happened. Rob does not whore it around behind Kristen's back. Trust me if he did, that person could have sunk him several times over by now. That's what being a famewhore is all about and some women just can't help the draw towards getting famous. Hence the shrews believe they stand a good chance with him. As soon as he would stray, the media would be all over it like white on rice.

It's so easy for haters to believe there is no relationship between Rob and Kristen; they can't see beyond their own jealous, spiteful and mean lives to what's in front of them *shrugs*

My final thoughts have to go to Michael Welch who plays Mike Newton. The young guy has always been very complimentary about his fellow cast mates and how much he has enjoyed his experience making Twilight. So you can forgive him for getting bent out of shape following his tweet about Kristen's 'W' cover and how 'amazing' she looked. Yeah, the angry shrews attacked him for speaking his mind 'HOW DARE HE!' So being the good natured young man that he is, he responded back in kind - a round of applause for Mike!
It was so good, you know what, I'm gonna share it with you all  :)

"BTW you haters out there, I'm well aware of what "amazing" means. There are varying degrees you nitwits. I hiked the Grand Canyon, rim to rim. That was truly amazing. I'm not completely shallow and empty. But in the context of a modern day magazine photo, i think she looks classic and stunning (or put it another way, amazing) 

I know i should just ignore you, but you irritate me. Sorry everybody. Hate to bring this into your overwhelming positive community. I'm sure one day I'll let stuff like that go without a second thought. I'm young. I'll learn. Have a nice day, nitwits :)" @MichaelWelchAct

*Chuckles*
Love this SO FUCKING MUCH!

T.