Rob and Kristen - Conspiracy Theory 101...

Riddle me this?

The theories running around on internet-land are shockingly hilarious. To begin with - is Rob cutting an album of his own, what can this mean? Is he giving up acting in favour of his number one obsession - next to being with Kristen that is?

Where on earth is this coming from - ah yes the latest 'Breaking Dawn' edition from the US weekly magazine. A glossy contemporary for all the other gossip magazines, that fill the middle shelf of many a newsagents in the US...that slowly transport across to the UK where we can see them also.

So...is he?
Well, as far as i am concerned if he is he won't be telling any gossip rag, and most certainly not one 'close Pattinson source' is going to be telling anyone any time soon either. But of course the so called 'RobSexuals' lap it up like a hot fudge sundae with extra fudge (steady now, once on the lips, forever on the eh .... never mind it's already there!) So i am going to go for a resounding no, unless it comes from the lips of Rob himself. Sure many are whining and complaining because he is 'Still in the US' and why is he not flying back into the arms of his beloved?'...next to, 'Thank god he's away from 'her' maybe he can have a little fun.' 

This also came on the back of Rob being 'seen' at TV chat show host Jimmy Fallon's Emmy After Show bash in LA; where Rob was seen dressed down (cap, jeans, jacket and scruff) with two friends, hanging inconspicuously amongst the glammed celebs. If you can call standing in a corner with some friends having a few drinks, hanging with the stars?

Em...Kristen, see...the funny thing is...

Oh yes, the stupid hair-brained nonnies were already over this like a rash, or lice on some putrid meat, because they had Rob having a dinner across the street (which did actually happen) with some glamorous blond gal (why always blond? Oh yes, because it's the opposite to a certain petite brunette he is always hanging with) when in fact his two friends were none other than Marcus Foster (as tweeted by Quest Love on twitter) and then by Marcus himself later on being a little 'star struck' at meeting the musician (you know Marcus, he was the one who sang 'I was broken' a soon to be released song with Kristen Stewart appearing in his music video?)

Ah...i see...
Of course, blond bimbos always feature heavily in the nonsten/hater/hag/harpy drivel; seemingly because that's the sort of 'girl Rob goes after.' Pity though for the past nearly three years he has had a hankering for a young girl who can be all the colours of the rainbow as far as her hair is concerned (see photos above) and yet, it's not the colour of her hair he is interested in, oh no. It's more a case of the naturally giving, loving, happy, carefree girl underneath. You know, the one who has no ulterior motive to 'get with him' because of his star status. Can the nonstens say the same thing? 

I think not!

Wow...so much bullshit...from such a small minded group of women!

Then of course there's the flapping and running around like headless chickens, because it was disclosed briefly by Kristen during the Mulberry fashion show at the weekend, that she is in the UK until 'November-ish'

Cue the panic!!!

PANIC, PANIC, PANIC

'OMG what does this mean, how will Rob and Kristen promote Breaking Dawn!!!'
'Please don't let it be promoted by the wolf-pack, Kristen is going to let down all her fans by not promoting Breaking Dawn alongside her cast. It just proves she is finished with Twilight!'
'YES! More Rob time and less of that skank PR'ing her fame-whoring ass beside him!'

The emotional response leaves you with whiplash. While the fans panic and run around in hysterical circles, the haters are rejoicing to the 'tentative early news' that Kristen will be in the UK filming SWATH so, that can mean only one thing...
Kristen will not be promoting 'Breaking Dawn' alongside her co-star Robert Pattinson.

Is that so?

W-W-H-AAA-T???

Oh yes, this shit gets funnier. You see by Kristen admitting she might be in the UK until...November-ish (very vague date) the nonstens and fanatics have been chasing each other around with happiness and hysteria (not a good combination) On one hand it's just what the doctor ordered for the robsessed, it means more Rob and less Kristen; considering the lack of Rob last year when promoting Eclipse due to his work commitments on 'Water for Elephants' causing more Kristen with Taylor as her 'wing-man' for most of the promotion.

On the other hand; the fanatics want Kristen and Rob to promote 'everything.' This is their big moment - the fans have waited two years and two movies for this event to arrive. Like Twilight; Rob as Edward and Kristen as Bella 'SHOULD' promote Breaking Dawn, as it's all about what the fans have been waiting for; the marriage, the honeymoon, the delicious consummation and the demon baby (as said by Rob) popping out of Bella via Edward's 'razor sharp teeth'

Takes a deep breath...

The answer lies in the promotion of Eclipse last year. Rob was in the middle of filming 'Water for Elephants' and although he couldn't travel to Europe and Australia because of his previous commitment, he still managed to promote as much as he could in the US and of course the World Premiere which was held in LA. The rest was delegated out to the other cast members to show up at events and rouse the crowds with on set secrets. Now i am not saying that this is going to be the case this time around. Of course fans have the right to demand Kristen promote BD with Rob, it is after all the first part of the love story finally coming full circle for Edward and Bella, but let's be realistic here for a second. Movies have to be made, and even though commitment lies in your contractual obligations to a movie you made prior to the one you are currently in, i believe many steps have been put in place to allow Kristen as much time as possible, if say SWATH can not be completed on time.

Wow...so much drama!!

Back in July; the director of 'Snow White and the Huntsman' Palak Patel tweeted when some were concerned over the length of time Kristen would be working on the movie, and would it overrun and stop her from promoting 'Breaking Dawn' and his reply was simple; 'She'll have time to promote that in Nov'

Sounds fairly reasonable to me. Yes, SWATH was pushed forward a month to get pre-production started ahead of it's original start date. And so far, there seems to be no set backs that have caused delays on the movie being finished on time. Add to that, Kristen is fully aware just how much the fans are looking forward to the promoting of Breaking Dawn and seeing the cast assembled again for the many events, will be the highlight of the year. So to try and make out that Kristen doesn't give a damn how the fans feel, is just another hate filled cry from the cess pool called 'nonsten-land'

Anyone who actually uses common sense, knows Kristen is fully committed to the Twilight Saga and seeing it through to the very end. So why would she not want to promote as much as possible for the next instalment? If you are going to panic over the least little thing then maybe it's about time you did something else in your life, instead of causing drama in a pretty drama free zone?

Panicking fans leads to wanting to choke the...

I have come across some really stupid reasons why some people ship this fandom. Mostly the fans are respectful and discreet in their admiration, whereas others cause trouble, panic and unnecessary worry amongst others for no apparent reason at all. Projecting your insecurities on two people just because you feel you have to control their lives for whatever bizarre reason, is one sure fire way of making you out to be just as ridiculous and just as delusional as the haters who do not WANT them together in the first place. For every 'hater' who claims Rob is hooking up with every blond female on the planet - there is an equal number of 'fans' claiming that because he is not joined to Kristen's side twenty four hours a day, there is something wrong with their relationship! 

For every harpy that rejoices the fact, that being apart means more time for hook ups; claiming there is nothing in their relationship but 'friends with benefits' there is an equal amount of fanatic's looking for any clue to 'prove' they are together, prove they are not a hook-up by making up rumours and spreading them. Twitter is full of people on both sides just as mad as each other. 

So similar...it's scary sometimes...

Conspiracy for what it's worth - there is none. Follow your own heart and don't listen to others. Never believe someone who claims they have 'inside information' and then proceed to post it everywhere. And if walks like a duck, quack likes a duck and looks like a dog...don't believe a word it says. 

(Photos have been brought to you today by; Mirrored Images - because sometimes Rob and Kristen are scary in the way they mirror each other ;-) )

Common sense is the key to inner happiness; less wrinkles, less indigestion and less hysterical moments of mindless panic.

T.