Ardente mente: Jessica Simpson In Life Style

Jessica Simpson Hides The Chubcakes

What the hell man? Jessica Simpson looks pregnant again. I thought we were done with all this weight fluctuation nonsense. Is it really too much to ask for my favorite hotties to stay thin and attractive for me while I do absolutely nothing in return? I don’t think so either. Anyhow, here’s Jessica out the other night wearing a nice little pair of denim short shorts, which is awesome I might add, but the maternity-wear animal print top has got to go. No seriously, lose it. We want to see those big chubcakes you’ve got hidden under there.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jessica Simpson’s Sweet Big Chubcakes

Anyone who’s been on this site for more than five minutes knows just how much I love Jessica Simpson, I even stuck with her throughout her rough fat girl days, so when I get shots of her in some Daisy Dukes dropping some incredible cleavage…. My testicles almost explode. The one awesome thing about Jessica putting on her weight has been those lovely big chubcakes of hers, I can’t get enough of them, my face would fit perfectly in there. I’ll even shave so I don’t scratch the merchandise. Call me.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jessica Simpson Back To Her Sexy Goodness

Here’s Jessica Simpson looking pretty damn hot, at the 2011 Us Weekly Hot Hollywood Party the other night, in her sexy little dress. I like it, she looks like she’s getting a little closer to her old self. I know that she’s probably wearing a couple of layers of industrial strength Spanx under there, but I don’t care I still think she’s looking sexy. Besides, I have a pair of those medical scissors doctors use to cut off casts so I’ll be able to get in there one way or another. Let’s do this.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jessica Simpson Shakes Her Chubcakes

Here’s Jessica Simpson in some promo shot for the TV show United States Of Tara. I’ve never seen the show, but judging solely on this picture it must be about a drag queen trying to make it in this world. Why can she just stand there and look sexy? This could also be an ad for a feminine hygiene product or stool softeners. At least they managed to contain her belly kinda nicely and she’s definitely distracting me with those big chubcakes of hers so all in all I like it.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jessica Simpson Gets Sexy For People

Here are a couple of shots of Jessica Simpson looking sexy in People magazine. I feel bad for the photographers and stylists, she’s not exactly skinny anymore, but they’ve got her all stretched out nicely in a slimming unitard and arms in the air in her sexy nighty so you hardly even notice it. Very creative. I’ve also got a video of the interview HERE. Best part… Her beautiful fat cleavage jiggling around while she talks. So hot.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jessica Simpson Is Looking Pretty Good Again

I’m kind of impressed that Jessica Simpson is looking this good, I thought she was all fat and dumpy now, I guess I was mistaken. That or her big sunglasses are throwing me off. Those things make a lot of women look a hell of a lot better than they really are, it’s kind of annoying. Anyhow, here she is over the weekend looking a little closer to the way my crotch and I remember her. Well done.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jessica Simpson Flashes Her Breasts Tonsils?

I don’t really know what to say about these pictures of Jessica Simpson, It looks like she’s trying to show off her feed hole, but that can’t be right. She’s not known as someone who enjoys eating…. I couldn’t finish that sentence without chuckling. Because of her weight issues. Anyhow, here she is doing something the other night wearing as much black as humanly possibly, you know, because it’s slimming. I thought she was supposed to be working out for her wedding. Back on the treadmill princess.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jessica Simpson Sweating To The Oldies

If you thought the last pictures I had of Jessica Simpson leaving the gym were bad you’re going to think that these are, well to be honest, you’re going to think these are the exact same pictures. Let me see, yoga pants, a dumpy sweater and a fat girl waddle. Yup, these are identical. I guess the only positive in all this is that eventually she’s going to have to start showing off what all her hard work has accomplished, hopefully with some bikini pictures of something, but more likely in a wedding dress. Lame.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jessica Simpson Heads To Fat Camp

I’m glad that all my stupid childish remarks about Jessica Simpson’s weight may finally be beginning to have some effect on her. Here she is leaving the gym after what I can only assume to be one of those grueling fat person workouts I see on The Biggest Loser involving punching the air while holding a water bottle or doing push ups on a wall from a standing position. That crap is exhausting for fatties. I’m just kidding princess, keep reaching for that rainbow.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jessica Simpson Needs To Work On Her Hotness

Obviously Jessica Simpson wasn’t invited to the Grammys because she’s fat now and ever since Jennifer Hudson lost all that weight, they don’t allow fatties to these events. Wait, that can’t be right, Christina Aguilera was there and she was downright chunky. Maybe Jessica wasn’t invited because she hasn’t released anything of any quality in….. I don’t know the answer to that question. Anyhow, here she is in her fat girl flannel shirt doing her best to distract us from her weight issues by sporting some nice little short shorts. I don’t think it’s working.

Related Articles:
Jessica Simpson’s Jeans Let Me Down
Jessica Simpson’s Boobs Are Good Band-Aids
Jessica Simpson’s Got A Little Hint Of Cleavage
Jessica Simpson’s Tasty White Meat
Photos: PacificCoastNews

---------------------------------------------------------

Jessica Simpson Is A Phat Hot Mess

It looks like Jessica Simpson may have had a few too many the other night. I’m not talking about chilly cheese dogs either, I mean a few too many adult beverages. Don’t get me wrong, I like my women liquored up, but I need them to at least be able to make it to the car. I find it kind of funny that for the first time in a long time I actually find some pictures of Jessica looking pretty damn sexy again and it turns out she’s hammered. I guess it says more about my taste in women. Enjoy.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jessica Simpson Gets A New Hairdo

I thought Twitter was supposed to be a safe haven for attention seeking chicks who want to show off their boobs on the internet without doing porn, I guess it’s broken today because I don’t know what the hell is going on with this picture. Here’s Jessica Simpson getting some rotten clown hairdo I don’t understand, I guess I’m just not that fashion forward, but this crap looks like something you keep your pet guinea pig in. Show us your boobs and be done with it.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jessica Simpson Looks Completely Natural

I’m not all that into celebrities walking around without any make up, nobody wants to see the ‘real’ them, so these pictures of Jessica Simpson at the airport looking completely “natural” aren’t really doing it for me. I get that a woman is supposed to look good in her natural state, the problem is they don’t, if they did we’d be overrun by chicks with hairy legs and armpits and worse. Just the thought of it scared my penis back up inside my body where it’s warm and safe.